Thursday, 5 January 2012

Nerd transmogrification 7% complete...

As the newest recruit to war gaming by a long shot I fear all I can offer this blog is my somewhat bewildered observations of an unfamiliar and mystifying world. My knowledge of Warhammer races and the realm in which they live is somewhere between scanty and non-existent. I do love fantasy in general however (Tolkien, George RR Martin, Robin Hobb etc) and I inherited the model railway gene from my Grandad so the leap into miniature armies full of orcs, dragons and elves shouldn't strain too many muscles.

The sum of my Warhammer experience so far is a handful of trial games against seasoned generals who at first went 'soft' on me. Then they started to play properly (darn) and jolted me into an uncomfortable realisation that if I want my ponies to live, (and I do, I really do), I might actually have to pay attention and not rely solely on lucky dice rolls.

Splitting an Island of Blood set as a first purchase seemed an economical choice - the High Elves were shiny and my boyfriend Maisey was keen on starting a Skaven army. I had very nearly completed the first unit of Swordmasters when... BAM, something deliciously dirty caught my eye; the Warriors of Chaos. My pony lust is no secret to the other Beard Bunker guys so you can imagine my joy at finding mounted core units. The 'Willow-esque' Warhounds also won me over as did the impressive strength of even the basic models (i.e. I can avoid the tedium of painting hordes and hordes of cannon fodder!)

At this point I was unaware of the narrative being eloquently constructed by Jeff and Charlie so I am hoping they can spin my smelly brutes into the yarn in a credible way. I started reading up on Chaos gods and Tzeentch stood out as a likely candidate. The down side of having no clue how to pronounce this particular deity was soon cancelled out by the +1 ward save under his mark. Oh and the fancy blue colour scheme possibilities.

After reading that the Warriors of Chaos hail from ‘oop north’ I began visualising my marauders as grungy wildlings on stocky Icelandic or Fjord ponies. The Chaos Knights are by far and away my favourite models. I am determined to pimp them out like tanks so they do not suffer the same fate as my Ellyrian Reavers. (I merrily cantered them towards two enormous rat ogres…I know, schoolgirl error).

Next step? To the Warhammer oracle! (aka Maisey) armed with a want list so he can tell me what I can and can't have in a conversation reminiscent of childhood trips to ToysRus...

Emma 'I can has dragon?' Maisey 'No Emma you can't have a 570 point dragon in a 2k army'.

Emma 'Aww...I can has giant?' Maisey 'Yes you can have a giant'. Emma 'Yay! I shall call him Lilliput'.

Of course this did not stop me from ordering an ice dragon 10 minutes later on ebay :P He can sit next to me and look scary, even if I can't unleash him. Yet. Tomorrow I am off to the Oxford Games Workshop to buy my first unit of PONIES! What's that Maisey? I have to be sensible and buy a box of plain old warriors first and figure out colour schemes? Bah.

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