Sunday, 8 February 2015

3000 points of Gobbos... WAAARGH!

Hi everybody! (Hi Doctor Jeff...) I have been remiss lately, it's true. My posts here have been few and far between. Truth be told, so was my personal hobby over the Christmas period. But not any more baby! I recently managed to fridge* out the last 70 goblins that were standing in the way of my original 3000 point list. Glory be, the basics are done. To celebrate this, I thought I'd have a bit of a photoshoot:

*fridge(n): a beard bunker idiom for anything difficult done with great mindlessness and purpose. Just to get. It. Done. Like carrying a fridge up stairs. No I don't remember why...

Now that is a heck of a lot of goblin. 220 of them to be precise and a bunch of spiders and monsters along for the ride. Now photographing this many gobbos is a real pain in the bum (more on that later) so I thought after the initial "impact" shot I'd break down the tribes. The Bitter Moons first:

The Bitter Moons (named for an oriental LARP teahouse belonging to friends of mine, no word of a lie) are the spine of the army. A huge slab of goblin complete with pesky fanatics and ruinous nets - anyone who thinks they're overpriced has never had a unit of halbardiers walk through their unit like it wasn't there. The giant is a 200 point brick of optimism as he only works properly maybe one game in three. Terrifyingly, this is not enough for this army. It lacks the punch to back up those huge, tarpit hordes and almost completely lacks in "softener" options designed to weaken an army before they strike. For that reason I am adding another 500 points to the 2k already here in the form of squigs - because yes - 3 bolt throwers - as anti-monster options - and 2 rock lobbers - the ultimate softener. Whole units can evaporate under a well aimed rock lobber. With 2 on the table... yikes. There's a couple of characters still to paint too, but seriously. Compared to the mound of painting required to get this far? The forty or so models still to go seems a snip. Backing up the spine of the Bitter Moons are the spikey fingers/arachnid legs of the Blackhead tribe:

Yup, that's a thousand points of - mostly - legal spider army. Mostly? Well, the shaman technically can't ride a spider in the army book but this is stupid and mostly to do with people stealing copyright so I have ignored it. A spider he shall have! He has to skulk around behind the units or lose them their Fast Cavalry bonus but a well placed Gift of the Spider God on these fellas is horrifying. The Arachnarok is the terror troop of the entire army. Almost ridiculously potent and a magnet for cannons (when they work eh Charlie? Yeah, over two games five cannon shots managed to roll a 1 to wound. Statistics for the win!). I have tried out the Blackheads as an army on their own and they feel right. The Arachnarok is ludicrous in such a small game but is killable and the rest of the army is a bit "glass hammer" i.e. hits hard under the right circumstances but shatters if it goes badly. Because of the trauma of painting this many spiders in realistic garden spider pattern I doubt I will ever add more spiders to the army. I'm done. 80 stripes per spider. 800 per unit. 2640 across the army. No more. If I ever go insane and do a second Arachnarok it'll be a black widow...

Speaking of adding to the army, as the workometer above shows, there is a whole extra lump of gobbo being attached to the horde. These are the Rivver Pikeys a means to add common goblins to the army without needing to use the aging "Genghis" gobbos. I see them as river rats, pirating traffic on stolen boats. I've made a start already and there'll be lots more where they came from. Trying to stick to finishing the night gobbos first though. With that I'm almost done, just time for one more image. What it takes to photograph armies:

In this case, a dust sheet over a washing line, several realm of battle boards, one umbrella and a very, very understanding wife. Thanks Lucy!


Sunday, 1 February 2015

The Eighth Knight

Ways to maintain a high output of painted models no. 314: don’t buy a pimp-ass PC.

Now, as you might be able to tell by the way the Beard Bunker produced half as many posts in 2014 as it did in 2012, I bought a pimp-ass PC. Woo spaceships woo. Now I’ve done very, very well at STARTING projects... just not so well with the finishing part. A few spearmen here, a few greatswords there. One thing that I have done, though, is to paint a new member of the Silver Drakes. Why have I done so? Because Erhard von RĂ¼diger is dead.

If anyone who’s been following our campaign is remotely interested in the how and the why, leave a message in the comments section and I’ll go into it. Mostly, though, I figure the campaign story is only interesting to the people who are playing it.

Now Mr von RĂ¼diger used to ride with the Inner Circle of the Silver Drakes, so his departure left a hole in the unit that needed filling. I’ve since filled it with a character who might one day become a hero but at the moment is just the order’s newest recruit:

Rosa von Kleinberg: new to the chapter and already looking bossy as ---k.

In case you’re wondering, the head is from Statuesque miniatures. Their heads are amazingly sculpted, but slightly too large for many 28mm models. Fortunately, these old knight sculpts are bloody enormous, so she fits in just fine.

When I was taking photos of Rosa’s model, it occurred to me that I’d never actually done a post showing these chaps off, which seemed like a bit of an oversight. What with them being an Inner Circle unit, I went to the trouble of making each one of them unique. I wanted them to feel less like a generic unit of harder-than-average knights and more like the seven samurai. With that in mind, here’s the rest of ’em...

Sir Amand, First Preceptor

Sir Bernhard, Chapter Ensign

Sir Edmund, Master of Ceremonies (phat trumpet beatz all round)

Sir Amir, Master of the Watch

Sir Ottomar, Keeper of the Lore

Sir Dieter, Master of the Armoury

Sir Werner, Master of Recruits

As time goes by, I may upgrade Ms von Kleinberg to a captain, and maybe (after a few years) to Grand Master. I’m still not sure if it’d be best to improve her stats one-by-one, and gradually increase her points cost, or if it’d be better just to leap from knight to captain in one fell swoop because rules. If anyone has any thoughts on the subject, or interesting mechanics for slowly increasing her stats, I’d be curious to hear them.